Silly accidents

A Missouri man is suing a DIY store after he got stuck to a toilet seat while out shopping.

31 year old Hayword Rosales is seeking £12,500 in damages after pranksters covered the toilet seat in superglue.

Rosales claims he suffered cuts and bruises to his buttock and was off work for weeks.

In a seperate case a West Yorkshire woman is launching legal action against a store after a chain saw she brought from the store severed her hand.

40 year old mother of three Bridget Williams is an avid DIY fan and purchased the £30“Challenge Mitre” to help her put in a new kitchen. She claims she was putting in some kitchen units when the saw suddenly went out of control and ripped through her hand.

Surgeons were able to save the hand and sew it back on but it is now an inch shorter. She is seeking £100,000 in damages from the store.

Mind how you go now!

Blowtorches can be ...., dangerous

There's ordinary foolishness, and then there's extraordinary foolishness. Stealing fireworks from a storage depot is foolishness. But using a welder's torch to cut through the wall of the building housing the fireworks - that is extraordinary foolishness.

Several burglars pushed their luck to the brink of failure when they tried to pull break into a building containing a large volume of fireworks. They used a gas cutting torch to slice through the main door. The door was eight feet tall, concrete, and reinforced with a solid inch of steel. Just as the torch penetrated the door, and success was at hand... a spark landed in a crate of fireworks inside.

Fireworks are explosive, and this particular crate contained the equivalent of a hundred pounds of gunpowder. The entire factory exploded. The door was popped from its hinges and slammed flat into the ground. The roof lifted off and landed in one piece. Interestingly, despite the violence of the explosion, the debris was confined within the factory perimeter.

Astoundingly, the perpetrators were not killed, and have never been found. Their cutting equipment remained behind, along with the car, which had been flattened by the concrete roof. Flabbergasted pyrotechnics professionals have dubbed them the "Hole in the Ground Gang."

Mind how you go now.

Now why don't B & Q do this?

This is just the profile our industry needs.

A mix of modern music and essential tools.

And it's Harry's favourite video!!

Aaah - the old ones are the best!

This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in an Australian insurance newsletter. It's almost certainly apocryphal - but it makes Harry smile!

Mind how you go.

Harry

Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level I went up onto the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain and unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.

Kind Regards,

Mike Pashby