Working with Evo-Stick?

A man has been killed after working on a new house.

Apparently he was unexpectedly confronted by a malfunctioning cannister of insulating foam. "The operative picked up one of the cans and gave it a shake as recommended. A pressure explosion occurred when the can burst (and) the bottom section hit him on the chest. The impact was so severe that the bottom section crumpled and wrinkled to some six inches, resulting in his death."

A safety alert was issued, warning of the potential for cans of Evo-Stik Expanding Foam to undergo lethal decompression. But the warning was retracted when it was discovered that James had, for reasons unknown, applied a blowtorch to the pressurized 500-ml cannister.

You can't make it up can you?

Mind how you go now.

Poll crazy?

In a poll of 2000 people by DIY accessory firm 3M, almost two thirds of women said that a man's attitude to home imovement reflected their approach to sex.

Is that why I can never find my socket set?

Mind how you go now.

I told you to be careful!!

With earthquakes that hardly trouble the Richter scale, and just one native poisonous snake, you'd think Britain was the safest country on Earth.

But that didn't stop more than a million of us ending up in accident and emergency last year - sometimes for the most bizarre of reasons.

These included three patients needing treatment after being bitten by a crocodile or alligator in the last year. The luckless trio were among 77 patients bitten by reptiles overall.

In addition, eight Britons got into a pickle with a scorpion, 12 pushed their luck with a venomous spider - and 725 had a nasty encounter with a hornet.

Fifty-five people were seen after suffering 'contact' with venomous snakes or lizards, and 22 came off worse from an encounter with a marine animal or plant.

The latest emergency hospital admissions statistics also revealed that one unidentified patient needed to see a doctor "for an illness resulting from staying too long in a weightless environment".

Another 60 Britons were seen by paramedics after being struck by lightning.

Doctors and nurses treated 4,660 dog bite injuries, with 1,369 of the victims being under 14. DIY enthusiasts also kept medical staff busy. There were 3,435 injuries while using power tools and other household machinery, and there were 452 lawnmower accidents.

Some of the other statistics might confirm suspicions over declining public services.

Amid fears that fortnightly bin collections are fuelling a boom in the numbers of vermin, it is disconcerting to note that 19 people visited a casualty department after being bitten by a rat.

Two of these victims needed to be admitted to hospital.

Equally worrying, 9,000 people were treated for illnesses contracted while in hospital and there were 162 cases of foreign objects being left in the body after surgery or other treatment.

Overall, 1,096,946 Britons were treated by casualty staff during 2006-07.

Not all of them injured themselves in such exotic ways, with more than 86,000 being hurt after "slipping, tripping or stumbling".

There were also 246 shooting victims, and nearly 6,000 people were stabbed, with all but 550 being men. On top of that, there were more than 3,500 cases of people being hit with a blunt instrument.

I told you to mind how you go didn't I?

Now - you take note.

And mind how you go.