Harry the Hammer

Britain's DIY mad

2008-09-01T14:50:00.003+01:00

A New report says People in Britain spend on average eight days a year doing DIY.
But nearly 50 per cent of those questioned said they regularly carry out DIY work without the knowledge or skills needed for the task. And a third were honest enough to say they normally mess up the so-called 'improvements'.

The report says many of the people require the use of proessionals to fix their DIY efforts. Women are the worst offenders and end up forking out an average of £80 each to fix their foul-ups with men spending £37 to make good their own disasters.

According to the report, the top five tasks the nation mucks up the most is headed by replacing floors.

That's followed by fitting an electric shower, putting up a new garden fence, painting and decorating and fixing bathroom leaks.

But it's splashing paint on walls with a brush or roller that the UK sees as its biggest chore, with 20 per cent of those questioned claiming it as their most despised DIY job.

Clearing the gutters came second, with sorting the garden third.
The report also discovered a quarter of blokes have had an accident doing DIY with one in 10 needing hospital treatment for their injury.

With 25 per cent of men either cutting or hurting themselves using a tool, while 7 per cent have fallen off a ladder, 6 per cent were electrocuted and 1 in 20 flooding the room they were working in.

Another 3 per cent fell through a ceiling or floor.

Which just makes you think, maybe it's best to put down that screwdriver today and go out instead!

You mind how you go now!

Silly accidents

2008-08-26T11:07:00.005+01:00

A Missouri man is suing a DIY store after he got stuck to a toilet seat while out shopping.

31 year old Hayword Rosales is seeking £12,500 in damages after pranksters covered the toilet seat in superglue.

Rosales claims he suffered cuts and bruises to his buttock and was off work for weeks.

In a seperate case a West Yorkshire woman is launching legal action against a store after a chain saw she brought from the store severed her hand.

40 year old mother of three Bridget Williams is an avid DIY fan and purchased the £30“Challenge Mitre” to help her put in a new kitchen. She claims she was putting in some kitchen units when the saw suddenly went out of control and ripped through her hand.

Surgeons were able to save the hand and sew it back on but it is now an inch shorter. She is seeking £100,000 in damages from the store.

Vain drivers

2008-08-18T12:38:00.006+01:00

A recent report revealed some worrying information, around 3.8million drivers put other road users at risk by not being able to see properly mainly because they think specs make them look ugly.

Unsurprisingly the worst offenders are women, some 14 million female motorists need glasses to meet the legal requirement of reading a car number plate at 70ft.

But one in four regularly drives without them — and one in five has had a crash or close shave within the past year as a result.

Incredibly one in 16 believes they are safe to get behind the wheel despite their poor vision.

The same report also named the most bizarre insurance claims recieved in a single year, so funny in fact that we just had to mention them.

A motorist called his insurance company after a camel kicked his car.

While another said his windscreen was melted by a crashing Harrier jet.

In another case, a car windscreen was shattered by a nut thrown by a squirrel.

One car was dented when a naked pedestrian ran across it for a joke.

And another claim came after a woman put shampoo in her tank thinking it was petrol.

Costly kids

2008-08-11T12:17:00.000+01:00

Children cause more than 850,000 accidents in the home every year and the resulting damage costs nearly £230 million.

According to new research young children are the number one cause of damage in their households, and are responsible for 42 per cent of all accidents.

It may be surprising to learn that teenagers are not the biggest culprits as far as causing accidents are concerned, they account for just one in five accidents around the home or 250,000 accidents a year. Resulting in £68 million worth of damage.

With the summer holidays in full swing and the usual English summertime weather, school-age children will be in and around the home for most of the day. So parents are being warned to keep an eye on their clumsy kids.

And even those without kids can’t escape the damage they cause, because of the 850,000 accidents last year, 250,000 of them happened in someone else's home while visiting.

Texting menace

2008-08-04T11:23:00.003+01:00

Doctors in America have warned mobile texters that constant mobile phone use will make them prone to accidents.

People who think they can text-message while walking, driving or biking are a public safety hazard, says the American College of Emergency Physicians (ACEP).
An increase in injuries and deaths related to distracted texters across the U.S. led the college to issue a warning last week.

In a statement Dr. Linda Lawrence, said:

“Her colleagues across the U.S. are reporting cases among teens and young adults, in particular, who are arriving in emergency departments with serious and sometimes fatal injuries, because they were not paying attention while texting.”
In San Francisco, doctors reported a young woman was killed by a pickup truck earlier this year when she stepped off a curb while texting.

Her death came on the heels of another fatality last year in California, in which a man was struck crossing the road while talking to his wife on his mobile phone.
The warning comes at the same time as The Chartered Society of Physiotherapy announced that up to one in six texters are left in pain because they fire off so many messages.

Symptoms include aches and strains in the hands, wrists, arms, shoulders and neck.
The Chartered Society of Physiotherapy said 16 per cent of 16 to 24 year-olds have had TMI or Text Message Injury.
212 million texts a day are now sent in the UK. Up a third on last year.

Flying lawn mowers

2008-07-28T12:14:00.002+01:00

DIY chain B&Q has been fined almost £28,000 after a lawnmower was dropped on the head of a worker at its Wednesbury store, knocking her out.

The store admitted a charge under the Health and Safety Act at West Bromwich Magistrates Court after the case was brought by Sandwell Council.

Gary Cook, prosecuting on behalf of the council, told district judge Derek French that on January 31, 2006 staff at the Axletree Way store were asked to replenish stock, in a process called a “stock rumble”.

The court heard two male members of staff were using ‘aircraft’ steps to remove boxed lawnmowers weighing 18kg from middle racking to floor level .

District Judge French was told while this was happening a woman member of staff walked underneath the steps. However, at the same time, while passing the lawnmower down the steps, it slipped, fell and hit her on the side of her head.

“As a result of having being struck by the box she was rendered unconscious and had since had headaches, blackouts and stress-induced pseudo seizures,” said Mr Cook.

Mark Balysz, defending on behalf of B&Q, said since the accident a new risk assessment has been drafted to deal with merchandising activity on aircraft steps.

He said in the past five years, the whole of the company’s 330 stores had only reported seven accidents involving aircraft steps and stock.

“You can be sure that this incident in these circumstances won’t happen at the Wednesbury store again.”

Summing up, district judge French, said: “I accept that B&Q is a responsible employer and indeed I accept the assertion made that they are concerned about the welfare of their employees. However, it seems to me and it seems to be accepted by B&Q that this accident was avoidable.”

Mind how you go now!

2008-07-21T09:45:00.002+01:00

Mind how you go now!

Demolition Dave

2008-07-14T11:02:00.006+01:00

A DIY fan who cut an underground phone cable by mistake was hit with a £25,780 repair bill, two years after the accident.

David Brown, 40, rammed a metal post through a fibre-optic line while putting up a fence in his front garden in Rings end, Cambs.

A spokesperson for BT said: "A BT engineer was sent out to the incident and as a result of Mr Browns actions, we’ve had to replace 2,000 metres of cable"

David has been given just 21 days to pay.

The furniture sprayer, who lives with frail mum Jean, 70, in Rings end, Cambs, said: “I was shocked when I opened the bill. I had no idea the cable was in the garden.”

David has contacted his insurance firm to find out if he is covered.

Mind how you go now!

Exercise is bad for your home

2008-07-09T13:54:00.006+01:00

The latest fitness craze to sweep Britain has its down side. A recent survey claims women exercising on the Nintendo Wii are causing millions of pounds worth of damage to their homes.

The bungling fitness fiends have contributed to an estimated annual living room repair bill of £19million.

Flower pots, television sets and even pets have been sent flying by the high kicks and hula hoop motions of increasingly vigorous home exercise routines.

Almost 20 per cent of women polled admitted having accidents after getting carried away in the living room with fitness routines such as those on the Nintendo Wii Fit.

Many of the 1000 women polled admitted they had caused an average of £7 worth of damage to their homes in the last year with over-enthusiastic work-outs.

Mind how you go now!

Stick to carpet

2008-06-23T14:03:00.007+01:00

Thousands of people are ending up in hospital after slipping on trendy wood floors says a new survey.

Latest figures show the DIY craze for the laminate boarding has seen accidents soar from 2,900 in 1998 to 12,300 in 2007. The Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents said most of the mishaps were caused by walking about barefoot or in socks.

A spokesman advised homeowners to put down non-slip mats or wear shoes with extra grip and to avoid spilling liquid on the veneer planks as it cannot be absorbed.

The number of people hurt on micro-scooters has also shot up since the fad swept Britain two years ago, the RoSPA survey also showed.

Changing cooking habits led to a rise in microwave-related injuries from 1,800 to 2,700? half involving burns caused by hot liquids.

A total of 2.7million people were hurt in accidents in the home and 2.8million slipped up outdoors.

Children had the most accidents with more than 900,000 kids under five injured.

But a quarter fewer youngsters suffered suspected poisoning.

On the wackier side, 700 people were hurt by trouser zips and another 8,500 came a cropper on high-heeled and platform shoes.

Mind how you go now!

Costly DIY

2008-06-16T12:49:00.010+01:00

A recent survey of 1500 men has revealed more than a third (37%) admitted they don't really like doing DIY and another third of all men feel under pressure from their partners to undertake DIY jobs.

This figure is corroborated by the fact that 31% of women expect their partners to carry out the necessary home improvement and 49% think DIY skills are desirable in a prospective partner.

Conversely, only 2% of men expect their partners to be able to accomplish DIY tasks.

The survey further suggests that, in order to impress their partners, many men take on too ambitious and even possibly dangerous projects such as electric wiring or major building or gas works.

A spokesperson for ROSPA said "TV home makeover shows make it all appear so simple, and it's easy to forget that these are highly skilled professionals."

"In reality trying to tackle certain areas you are not qualified for such as electrics or plumbing is dangerous and could even invalidate your home insurance policy, leaving you liable for any subsequent damage. We'd recommend using a reputable tradesman rather than going it alone."

ROSPA urges homeowners who do not have the necessary qualifications or experience to be cautious, because their home insurance might be invalidated if their home improvement work goes wrong.

Accidental damage of sinks, baths, ceramic hobs or glass in doors is included in most policies, but common DIY disasters like drilling into a water pipe or putting a foot through the ceiling might require additional cover.

Mind how you go now!

Ingenious or stupid you decide!

2008-06-09T10:56:00.008+01:00

What were they thinking!

Things are done a little differently in the rest of the world, try this at work and see what health and safety have to say.

Mind how you go now!

The tools to watch out for.

2008-06-02T09:36:00.000+01:00

It’s worth putting safety first when dabbling with DIY. Here are the implements to watch out for according to RoSPA (Royal Society For The Prevention Of Accidents) figures:

1. Knives and scalpels (21,300 accidents in the UK each year)

2. Saws (15,100)

3. Grinders (6,400)

4. Hammers (5,800)

5. Chisels (3,900)

6. Screwdrivers (3,400)

7. Power Drills (3,000)

8. Axes (2,200)

9. Planes (2,100)

10. Welding Equipment (2,000)

Mind how you go now!

Trying to save money by DIY.

2008-05-27T13:30:00.010+01:00

Recent research has shown DIY bodges cost people £850m a year in paying builders to sort them out.

Not only that, but some 70 people die each year from DIY disasters with a further 200,000 injured.

And despite that, a recent Federation of Master Builders survey reckons that 40% of people will still attempt all their building work themselves.

If you're one of the 40% - you've been warned.

Mind how you go now.

Stick to the hammer and nails.

2008-04-14T11:23:00.008+01:00

The perils of using a simple tool like a nail gun have been displayed recently as two victims will no doubt tell you when and if they recover. One DIY fan called Nigel from Leicester decided to nail the floorboards down in his bathroom with a DIY staple gun. Seems fair enough, you might say.

The problem arose when the clumsy clot lost his balance and fell over. As he explains 'I heard the gun go off. I felt a pain in my chest, so I went to take off my jumper, but I couldn't because it was nailed to my chest.' Ouch!

It was later revealed at hospital that the nail was an inch inside his heart, and a single millimeter away from the main artery. In the most shocking, and most stupid, aspect of the story, the man actually considered removing the nail with pliers before dialing 999. Certain death would have followed.

Best left to the professionals you might say or maybe not as a 17 year old working on a building site in Australia recently shot himself in the head with a nail gun.

Mind how you go now.

Safer living in the South?

2008-03-28T08:41:00.006Z

Homeowners in the south-east of the UK are the worst culprits for DIY disasters, according to new research.

Some 29 per cent of the recorded incidents of damage caused to neighbours' properties as a result of property renovation occurred in the south-east, a new Halifax study indicates.

A cumulative £173 million worth of damage is caused by neighbours undertaking home improvement projects, with one-third of those affected having to cover the cost themselves, while others split the cost.

David Rochester, head of underwriting at Halifax Home Insurance, said: "A number of errant DIYers are not just damaging their properties, but their neighbours' homes too."

Mind how you go now.

DIY fans expected to cause up to £25 million damage this Easter

2008-03-20T06:01:00.002Z

DIY enthusiasts could cause up to £25million worth of damage in British homes this Easter weekend - one of the most popular periods for taking on home improvements.

Research suggests that a clumsy 16 per cent of people have damaged their homes or their property carrying out a DIY improvement and the industry expects to pay out anything up to £25 million for DIY-related damage this Easter.

A survey of 2,000 householders by an insurance company also found that nearly 30 per cent of people admit they have injured themselves or someone else while carrying out a DIY job. This figure is supported by the fact that an estimated 200,000 DIY enthusiasts turn up at hospital each year.

Worryingly, 55 per cent admitted to starting a DIY job without the correct tools and almost 50 per cent said that they had started a DIY job without really knowing how to do it - including electrical and plumbing jobs.

So if you're looking to start those long-awaited home improvements this weekend - you just mind how you go!

Blowtorches can be ...., dangerous

2008-03-18T18:06:00.002Z

There's ordinary foolishness, and then there's extraordinary foolishness. Stealing fireworks from a storage depot is foolishness. But using a welder's torch to cut through the wall of the building housing the fireworks - that is extraordinary foolishness.

Several burglars pushed their luck to the brink of failure when they tried to pull break into a building containing a large volume of fireworks. They used a gas cutting torch to slice through the main door. The door was eight feet tall, concrete, and reinforced with a solid inch of steel. Just as the torch penetrated the door, and success was at hand... a spark landed in a crate of fireworks inside.

Fireworks are explosive, and this particular crate contained the equivalent of a hundred pounds of gunpowder. The entire factory exploded. The door was popped from its hinges and slammed flat into the ground. The roof lifted off and landed in one piece. Interestingly, despite the violence of the explosion, the debris was confined within the factory perimeter.

Astoundingly, the perpetrators were not killed, and have never been found. Their cutting equipment remained behind, along with the car, which had been flattened by the concrete roof. Flabbergasted pyrotechnics professionals have dubbed them the "Hole in the Ground Gang."

Mind how you go now.

More silly sausages!

2008-03-18T17:50:00.001Z

We love these silly mishaps.

Watch them and have a giggle - but mind how you go won't you?

The Victim's Tale

2008-03-03T09:32:00.005Z

Yes, we know it's an urban myth - but we like it anyway.

Here's the Accident Report from a man whi had an accident at work, so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information. This was his response:

"I am writing in response to your request for additional information, for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80-foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using the pulley attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the 300 pounds of tools."

"You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel."

"Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope..."

Mind how you go now.

Don't mess with Oil tanks!

2008-02-18T08:48:00.002Z

After smoking marijuana and consuming substantial alcohol at a popular party spot in Routt National Forest, USA two teens decided that it would be fun to leap and cavort upon a mostly-empty oil tank.

Mostly empty...

"There were several ignitions sources," according to the local sheriff. Teenagers were smoking, and there was a bonfire nearby. The energetic gyrations of the dancers caused fumes to leak from the relief valve, and an ignition source sparked a "flashdance" as the crude oil storage tank exploded, hurling two teens 150 yards to their deaths.

The deceased were identified as Samuel and Christopher, 17 and 19.

Mind how you go now!

Working with Evo-Stick?

2008-01-29T08:21:00.002Z

A man has been killed after working on a new house.

Apparently he was unexpectedly confronted by a malfunctioning cannister of insulating foam. "The operative picked up one of the cans and gave it a shake as recommended. A pressure explosion occurred when the can burst (and) the bottom section hit him on the chest. The impact was so severe that the bottom section crumpled and wrinkled to some six inches, resulting in his death."

A safety alert was issued, warning of the potential for cans of Evo-Stik Expanding Foam to undergo lethal decompression. But the warning was retracted when it was discovered that James had, for reasons unknown, applied a blowtorch to the pressurized 500-ml cannister.

You can't make it up can you?

Mind how you go now.

Poll crazy?

2008-01-07T14:36:00.002Z

In a poll of 2000 people by DIY accessory firm 3M, almost two thirds of women said that a man's attitude to home imovement reflected their approach to sex.

Is that why I can never find my socket set?

Mind how you go now.

I told you to be careful!!

2008-01-03T09:24:00.001Z

With earthquakes that hardly trouble the Richter scale, and just one native poisonous snake, you'd think Britain was the safest country on Earth.

But that didn't stop more than a million of us ending up in accident and emergency last year - sometimes for the most bizarre of reasons.

These included three patients needing treatment after being bitten by a crocodile or alligator in the last year. The luckless trio were among 77 patients bitten by reptiles overall.

In addition, eight Britons got into a pickle with a scorpion, 12 pushed their luck with a venomous spider - and 725 had a nasty encounter with a hornet.

Fifty-five people were seen after suffering 'contact' with venomous snakes or lizards, and 22 came off worse from an encounter with a marine animal or plant.

The latest emergency hospital admissions statistics also revealed that one unidentified patient needed to see a doctor "for an illness resulting from staying too long in a weightless environment".

Another 60 Britons were seen by paramedics after being struck by lightning.

Doctors and nurses treated 4,660 dog bite injuries, with 1,369 of the victims being under 14. DIY enthusiasts also kept medical staff busy. There were 3,435 injuries while using power tools and other household machinery, and there were 452 lawnmower accidents.

Some of the other statistics might confirm suspicions over declining public services.

Amid fears that fortnightly bin collections are fuelling a boom in the numbers of vermin, it is disconcerting to note that 19 people visited a casualty department after being bitten by a rat.

Two of these victims needed to be admitted to hospital.

Equally worrying, 9,000 people were treated for illnesses contracted while in hospital and there were 162 cases of foreign objects being left in the body after surgery or other treatment.

Overall, 1,096,946 Britons were treated by casualty staff during 2006-07.

Not all of them injured themselves in such exotic ways, with more than 86,000 being hurt after "slipping, tripping or stumbling".

There were also 246 shooting victims, and nearly 6,000 people were stabbed, with all but 550 being men. On top of that, there were more than 3,500 cases of people being hit with a blunt instrument.

I told you to mind how you go didn't I?

Now - you take note.

And mind how you go.

Now why don't B & Q do this?

2007-12-07T07:16:00.000Z

This is just the profile our industry needs.

A mix of modern music and essential tools.

And it's Harry's favourite video!!

You never know who is watching!

2007-11-30T13:19:00.000Z

Let this be a warning to those of you who like to play little workplace pranks - you never know who might be watching and you might just hurt yourself!

You mind how you go now - the German way

2007-11-23T07:30:00.001Z

Of course, Harry the Hammer would also want you to mind how you go. I'm also up for proper training to reduce the number of accidents in the workplace and whilst using DIY tools and equipment.

But I couldn't possibly illustrate the dangers of using workplace tools and equipment as good as the Germans.

Here's a German training video and .... well they do it so well don't they?

You mind how you go now.

Harry

Top 5 Stupid DIY Accidents - Number 1

2007-11-19T16:39:00.000Z

And here is our favourite - our number 1 DIY disaster.

It's about a chap called Nigel from Leicester who decided to nail the floorboards down in his bathroom with a DIY staple gun.

Which is fair enough.

However, our Nigel only went and lost his balance and fell over. And as he told TV interviewer Carol Smillie: "I heard the gun go off. I felt a pain in my chest, so I went to take off my jumper, but I couldn't because it was nailed to my chest."

It was later revealed at hospital that the nail was an inch inside his heart, and a single millimetre away from the main artery. However, the most shocking, and most stupid, aspect of the story, is that he actually considered removing the nail with pliers before dialling 999.

And certain death would have followed.

You mind how you go now.

Harry.

Top 5 Stupid DIY Accidents - Number 2

2007-11-14T05:50:00.001Z

Never drink whilst doing your DIY.

Why not?

Well you might suffer the same fate as Paul from Yorkshire, who told the BBC how he went boozing one lunchtime and thought it would be a good idea to partake in a spot of DIY in the afternoon. There was a small piece of wallpaper in the corner of the ceiling that was 'annoying' him and which Paul wanted to remove.

So what did he do? Why, he got a butcher's boning knife and stood on a wobbly chair, of course. Obviously he fell off, and plunged the knife - to the hilt - into his chest, about an inch beside his heart.

Let that be a lesson to you.

You mind how you go.

Harry

We like their tools too!

2007-11-13T10:51:00.000Z

Some funny stuff from DeWalt.

Mind how you go now.

Harry

Top 5 Stupid DIY Accidents - Number 3

2007-11-13T07:09:00.001Z

We like the story of the chap from Gwent who decided to plumb in an outside tap to make watering the garden easier for his sister-in-law.

As his sister-in law tells it, he used a 'DIY outside tap kit' which he fixed to an existing water pipe, puncturing the pipe and allowing the water to flow through the tap when in use.

The problem was that he didn't connect it to the water pipe - but to the flippin' gas pipe!!

So instead of watering the plants, he gassed them.

Don't you despair sometimes?

You mind how you go!

Top 5 Stupid DIY Accidents - Number 4

2007-11-12T06:27:00.000Z

A good fire story is always good for a chuckle - so continuing my Top 5 Stupid DIY Accidents, here's my Number 4.

Blokes always get a bit excited when they get to play with fire, as was the case with David from Sutton when he decided to use a blowtorch for a spot of paint removal.

He was tackling a sash window in the bathroom. As he did the work, David was a bit worried about the temperature of the torch he was using to remove the paint, but, after a hard day of work and the job complete, there was no smoke, and no fire.

Unfortunately, as David descended the stairs at the end of the day for a hard-earned beer, he was unaware that a spark of fire had caused the window frame to catch alight. Quickly, the whole window frame was alight, billowing smoke into the whole of the house. By the time that it was discovered, it seemed the whole house was doomed. Luckily, the fire was in the bathroom, so a speedy release of the shower meant that eventually the fire was doused out.

A torch on timber? David, what were you thinking of?

Mind how you go now.

Harry

Top 5 Stupid DIY Accidents - Number 5

2007-11-09T07:49:00.000Z

DIY bodges cost people £850m a year in paying builders to sort them out.

No less than 70 people die a year from DIY disasters, and there are a further 200,000 injured. Despite that, according to the Federation of Master Builders 40% of people still attempt all their building work themselves.

And when it goes wrong - well, Boy, does it go wrong.

To commemorate those incompetents who still bring a smile to my face then - here is the list of Top 5 DIY disasters. These are about people who thought DIY was as easy as ABC, but ended up thinking again.

Today - at Number 5 .....

The Norfolk Handy Man.

This is the tale about Paul Stothers from Norfolk.

He was using a motorised saw while cutting a piece of skirting board. Not exactly rocket science, and certainly not specifically dangerous.

But here's where it all goes wrong. He lifted the safety guard (why, oh why?) so that he could see the pencil markings, and then brought the machine down, cutting off his hand. Ow. Ow. Ow.

He needed a nine hour operation to reattach his hand, and this was then followed by four other operations.

That may have been the end of his DIY career.

Look out for Number 4 soon .... and mind how you go.

Harry

Aaah - the old ones are the best!

2007-11-08T07:32:00.000Z

This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in an Australian insurance newsletter. It's almost certainly apocryphal - but it makes Harry smile!

Mind how you go.

Harry

Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level I went up onto the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain and unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.

Kind Regards,

Mike Pashby

Watch those drills now!

2007-11-07T06:45:00.000Z

OK - it's not real.

But its very funny!

You mind how you go now.

Harry

Top 10 DIY Tools

2007-11-07T06:39:00.000Z

Now, I suppose you think that old Harry is just messing about with this DIY disaster thing - but oh no!

I'm nothing if not careful with my research. And I've been doing some sniffing around with those in the know. And RoSPA - the Royal Society For The Prevention Of Accidents - have a list with the top 10 dangerous DIY implements:

1. Knives and scalpels (21,300 accidents in the UK each year);

2. Saws (15,100);

3. Grinders (6,400);

4. Hammers (5,800);

5. Chisels (3,900);

6. Screwdrivers (3,400);

7. Power Drills (3,000);

8. Axes (2,200);

9. Planes (2,100);

10. Welding Equipment (2,000).

What's more, injuries from tools and machinery are estimated to account for 87,000 of the 220,000 DIY injuries.

You mind how you go now.

Harry

Just to get the ball moving ....

2007-11-06T17:13:00.001Z

Take a look at this little lot!

You mind how you go now.

Harry

So what kind of disasters make me smile?

2007-11-06T16:40:00.000Z

It was reckoned that British DIY endeavours are costing a total of £2.6 million annually as a result of unforeseen mishaps - or so it is according to research from Insurance company Churchill.

Accidental damage caused while attempting to improve a property costs an average of £540 and a full 20 per cent of British households are likely to make the effort do it themselves .

What's most worrying is that more than half of householders confess to not being particularly adept at carrying out DIY ideas. So why on earth do they do it?

But it does make for a good giggle though. To be honest, I'm not really fussy how things go wrong - so long as they do and that they don't involve me!

I like quite simple and straightforward incompetence such as the chap we know who was sawing some wood. For some reason he then decided to see if he could fit his finger through a hole in the work bench. He could, but it was stuck.

Unfortunately he was the only person at home at the time, and the only way he could free himself was to saw a chunk out of the workbench, using his left hand.

Priceless!

I also liked the story about the chap who was using a motorised saw while cutting a piece of skirting board. For some reason, he decided to lift the safety guard so that he could see the pencil markings, and then brought the machine down, cutting off his hand. He needed a nine hour operation to reattach his hand, and this was then followed by four other operations.

Fantastic!

I'll be scouring the web - and keeping an ear and an ey out for more great DIY disasters!

You mind how you go now.

Harry