Let this be a warning to those of you who like to play little workplace pranks - you never know who might be watching and you might just hurt yourself!
Friday 30 November 2007
Friday 23 November 2007
You mind how you go now - the German way
Of course, Harry the Hammer would also want you to mind how you go. I'm also up for proper training to reduce the number of accidents in the workplace and whilst using DIY tools and equipment.
But I couldn't possibly illustrate the dangers of using workplace tools and equipment as good as the Germans.
Here's a German training video and .... well they do it so well don't they?
You mind how you go now.
Harry
But I couldn't possibly illustrate the dangers of using workplace tools and equipment as good as the Germans.
Here's a German training video and .... well they do it so well don't they?
You mind how you go now.
Harry
Monday 19 November 2007
Top 5 Stupid DIY Accidents - Number 1
And here is our favourite - our number 1 DIY disaster.
It's about a chap called Nigel from Leicester who decided to nail the floorboards down in his bathroom with a DIY staple gun.
Which is fair enough.
However, our Nigel only went and lost his balance and fell over. And as he told TV interviewer Carol Smillie: "I heard the gun go off. I felt a pain in my chest, so I went to take off my jumper, but I couldn't because it was nailed to my chest."
It was later revealed at hospital that the nail was an inch inside his heart, and a single millimetre away from the main artery. However, the most shocking, and most stupid, aspect of the story, is that he actually considered removing the nail with pliers before dialling 999.
And certain death would have followed.
You mind how you go now.
Harry.
It's about a chap called Nigel from Leicester who decided to nail the floorboards down in his bathroom with a DIY staple gun.
Which is fair enough.
However, our Nigel only went and lost his balance and fell over. And as he told TV interviewer Carol Smillie: "I heard the gun go off. I felt a pain in my chest, so I went to take off my jumper, but I couldn't because it was nailed to my chest."
It was later revealed at hospital that the nail was an inch inside his heart, and a single millimetre away from the main artery. However, the most shocking, and most stupid, aspect of the story, is that he actually considered removing the nail with pliers before dialling 999.
And certain death would have followed.
You mind how you go now.
Harry.
Wednesday 14 November 2007
Top 5 Stupid DIY Accidents - Number 2
Never drink whilst doing your DIY.
Why not?
Well you might suffer the same fate as Paul from Yorkshire, who told the BBC how he went boozing one lunchtime and thought it would be a good idea to partake in a spot of DIY in the afternoon. There was a small piece of wallpaper in the corner of the ceiling that was 'annoying' him and which Paul wanted to remove.
So what did he do? Why, he got a butcher's boning knife and stood on a wobbly chair, of course. Obviously he fell off, and plunged the knife - to the hilt - into his chest, about an inch beside his heart.
Let that be a lesson to you.
You mind how you go.
Harry
Why not?
Well you might suffer the same fate as Paul from Yorkshire, who told the BBC how he went boozing one lunchtime and thought it would be a good idea to partake in a spot of DIY in the afternoon. There was a small piece of wallpaper in the corner of the ceiling that was 'annoying' him and which Paul wanted to remove.
So what did he do? Why, he got a butcher's boning knife and stood on a wobbly chair, of course. Obviously he fell off, and plunged the knife - to the hilt - into his chest, about an inch beside his heart.
Let that be a lesson to you.
You mind how you go.
Harry
Tuesday 13 November 2007
Top 5 Stupid DIY Accidents - Number 3
We like the story of the chap from Gwent who decided to plumb in an outside tap to make watering the garden easier for his sister-in-law.
As his sister-in law tells it, he used a 'DIY outside tap kit' which he fixed to an existing water pipe, puncturing the pipe and allowing the water to flow through the tap when in use.
The problem was that he didn't connect it to the water pipe - but to the flippin' gas pipe!!
So instead of watering the plants, he gassed them.
Don't you despair sometimes?
You mind how you go!
As his sister-in law tells it, he used a 'DIY outside tap kit' which he fixed to an existing water pipe, puncturing the pipe and allowing the water to flow through the tap when in use.
The problem was that he didn't connect it to the water pipe - but to the flippin' gas pipe!!
So instead of watering the plants, he gassed them.
Don't you despair sometimes?
You mind how you go!
Monday 12 November 2007
Top 5 Stupid DIY Accidents - Number 4
A good fire story is always good for a chuckle - so continuing my Top 5 Stupid DIY Accidents, here's my Number 4.
Blokes always get a bit excited when they get to play with fire, as was the case with David from Sutton when he decided to use a blowtorch for a spot of paint removal.
He was tackling a sash window in the bathroom. As he did the work, David was a bit worried about the temperature of the torch he was using to remove the paint, but, after a hard day of work and the job complete, there was no smoke, and no fire.
Unfortunately, as David descended the stairs at the end of the day for a hard-earned beer, he was unaware that a spark of fire had caused the window frame to catch alight. Quickly, the whole window frame was alight, billowing smoke into the whole of the house. By the time that it was discovered, it seemed the whole house was doomed. Luckily, the fire was in the bathroom, so a speedy release of the shower meant that eventually the fire was doused out.
A torch on timber? David, what were you thinking of?
Mind how you go now.
Harry
Blokes always get a bit excited when they get to play with fire, as was the case with David from Sutton when he decided to use a blowtorch for a spot of paint removal.
He was tackling a sash window in the bathroom. As he did the work, David was a bit worried about the temperature of the torch he was using to remove the paint, but, after a hard day of work and the job complete, there was no smoke, and no fire.
Unfortunately, as David descended the stairs at the end of the day for a hard-earned beer, he was unaware that a spark of fire had caused the window frame to catch alight. Quickly, the whole window frame was alight, billowing smoke into the whole of the house. By the time that it was discovered, it seemed the whole house was doomed. Luckily, the fire was in the bathroom, so a speedy release of the shower meant that eventually the fire was doused out.
A torch on timber? David, what were you thinking of?
Mind how you go now.
Harry
Friday 9 November 2007
Top 5 Stupid DIY Accidents - Number 5
DIY bodges cost people £850m a year in paying builders to sort them out.
No less than 70 people die a year from DIY disasters, and there are a further 200,000 injured. Despite that, according to the Federation of Master Builders 40% of people still attempt all their building work themselves.
And when it goes wrong - well, Boy, does it go wrong.
To commemorate those incompetents who still bring a smile to my face then - here is the list of Top 5 DIY disasters. These are about people who thought DIY was as easy as ABC, but ended up thinking again.
Today - at Number 5 .....
The Norfolk Handy Man.
This is the tale about Paul Stothers from Norfolk.
He was using a motorised saw while cutting a piece of skirting board. Not exactly rocket science, and certainly not specifically dangerous.
But here's where it all goes wrong. He lifted the safety guard (why, oh why?) so that he could see the pencil markings, and then brought the machine down, cutting off his hand. Ow. Ow. Ow.
He needed a nine hour operation to reattach his hand, and this was then followed by four other operations.
That may have been the end of his DIY career.
Look out for Number 4 soon .... and mind how you go.
Harry
No less than 70 people die a year from DIY disasters, and there are a further 200,000 injured. Despite that, according to the Federation of Master Builders 40% of people still attempt all their building work themselves.
And when it goes wrong - well, Boy, does it go wrong.
To commemorate those incompetents who still bring a smile to my face then - here is the list of Top 5 DIY disasters. These are about people who thought DIY was as easy as ABC, but ended up thinking again.
Today - at Number 5 .....
The Norfolk Handy Man.
This is the tale about Paul Stothers from Norfolk.
He was using a motorised saw while cutting a piece of skirting board. Not exactly rocket science, and certainly not specifically dangerous.
But here's where it all goes wrong. He lifted the safety guard (why, oh why?) so that he could see the pencil markings, and then brought the machine down, cutting off his hand. Ow. Ow. Ow.
He needed a nine hour operation to reattach his hand, and this was then followed by four other operations.
That may have been the end of his DIY career.
Look out for Number 4 soon .... and mind how you go.
Harry
Thursday 8 November 2007
Aaah - the old ones are the best!
This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in an Australian insurance newsletter. It's almost certainly apocryphal - but it makes Harry smile!
Mind how you go.
Harry
Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level I went up onto the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain and unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
I hope this answers your inquiry.
Kind Regards,
Mike Pashby
Mind how you go.
Harry
Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level I went up onto the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain and unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
I hope this answers your inquiry.
Kind Regards,
Mike Pashby
Wednesday 7 November 2007
Top 10 DIY Tools
Now, I suppose you think that old Harry is just messing about with this DIY disaster thing - but oh no!
I'm nothing if not careful with my research. And I've been doing some sniffing around with those in the know. And RoSPA - the Royal Society For The Prevention Of Accidents - have a list with the top 10 dangerous DIY implements:
1. Knives and scalpels (21,300 accidents in the UK each year);
2. Saws (15,100);
3. Grinders (6,400);
4. Hammers (5,800);
5. Chisels (3,900);
6. Screwdrivers (3,400);
7. Power Drills (3,000);
8. Axes (2,200);
9. Planes (2,100);
10. Welding Equipment (2,000).
What's more, injuries from tools and machinery are estimated to account for 87,000 of the 220,000 DIY injuries.
You mind how you go now.
Harry
I'm nothing if not careful with my research. And I've been doing some sniffing around with those in the know. And RoSPA - the Royal Society For The Prevention Of Accidents - have a list with the top 10 dangerous DIY implements:
1. Knives and scalpels (21,300 accidents in the UK each year);
2. Saws (15,100);
3. Grinders (6,400);
4. Hammers (5,800);
5. Chisels (3,900);
6. Screwdrivers (3,400);
7. Power Drills (3,000);
8. Axes (2,200);
9. Planes (2,100);
10. Welding Equipment (2,000).
What's more, injuries from tools and machinery are estimated to account for 87,000 of the 220,000 DIY injuries.
You mind how you go now.
Harry
Tuesday 6 November 2007
So what kind of disasters make me smile?
It was reckoned that British DIY endeavours are costing a total of £2.6 million annually as a result of unforeseen mishaps - or so it is according to research from Insurance company Churchill.
Accidental damage caused while attempting to improve a property costs an average of £540 and a full 20 per cent of British households are likely to make the effort do it themselves .
What's most worrying is that more than half of householders confess to not being particularly adept at carrying out DIY ideas. So why on earth do they do it?
But it does make for a good giggle though. To be honest, I'm not really fussy how things go wrong - so long as they do and that they don't involve me!
I like quite simple and straightforward incompetence such as the chap we know who was sawing some wood. For some reason he then decided to see if he could fit his finger through a hole in the work bench. He could, but it was stuck.
Unfortunately he was the only person at home at the time, and the only way he could free himself was to saw a chunk out of the workbench, using his left hand.
Priceless!
I also liked the story about the chap who was using a motorised saw while cutting a piece of skirting board. For some reason, he decided to lift the safety guard so that he could see the pencil markings, and then brought the machine down, cutting off his hand. He needed a nine hour operation to reattach his hand, and this was then followed by four other operations.
Fantastic!
I'll be scouring the web - and keeping an ear and an ey out for more great DIY disasters!
You mind how you go now.
Harry
Accidental damage caused while attempting to improve a property costs an average of £540 and a full 20 per cent of British households are likely to make the effort do it themselves .
What's most worrying is that more than half of householders confess to not being particularly adept at carrying out DIY ideas. So why on earth do they do it?
But it does make for a good giggle though. To be honest, I'm not really fussy how things go wrong - so long as they do and that they don't involve me!
I like quite simple and straightforward incompetence such as the chap we know who was sawing some wood. For some reason he then decided to see if he could fit his finger through a hole in the work bench. He could, but it was stuck.
Unfortunately he was the only person at home at the time, and the only way he could free himself was to saw a chunk out of the workbench, using his left hand.
Priceless!
I also liked the story about the chap who was using a motorised saw while cutting a piece of skirting board. For some reason, he decided to lift the safety guard so that he could see the pencil markings, and then brought the machine down, cutting off his hand. He needed a nine hour operation to reattach his hand, and this was then followed by four other operations.
Fantastic!
I'll be scouring the web - and keeping an ear and an ey out for more great DIY disasters!
You mind how you go now.
Harry
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